


Goodnight and Joy be With You All

by angelofsassguard



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Panic Attacks, Someone dies, this is me warning you ok guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 06:37:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofsassguard/pseuds/angelofsassguard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just that he couldn't remember the last time he was genuinely smiling, you know, that smile that goes all the way up to the crinkles of your eyes and settles into the lines of your forehead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight and Joy be With You All

 

** Chapter 1 **

****

It wasn't like he wasn't happy, considering the things he's been through, moments like these are considered gold for Stiles. It's just that he couldn't remember the last time he was genuinely smiling, you know, that smile that goes all the way up to the crinkles of your eyes and settles into the lines of your forehead. This right here with his dad, with everyone, was nice though, the sun was shining, the bugs were flying and the bar-be- cue was burning-  ** _the bar-be-cue was burning_**... WHAT?!?!

  
"Holy shit!" Stiles rolled out of the hammock with a successful  _thud!_  Great, just great, his father never lets him man the grill and the one time he does Stiles is burning the freaking food! Stiles stumbles over to the grill and swiftly turns over each piece of poultry. "Oh god what have I done?!" 

  
"First," a voice coming up behind him said, "we get rid of these charcoals-" Peter was now making a face of utter disgust at Stiles' failed attempt to bar-be-cue chicken "and then we take these away-" Stiles willingly handed over the pair of thongs to Peter "and now you leave and don't look back."

  
Stiles had no problem following those rules, as a matter of fact he revelled in being given such a task that was quite easy for him to complete. As he entered the house he was greeted with Scott's wide smile which quickly transformed into a worried frown "Stiles did you set yourself on fire?" after a short pause "Again?"

  
"Oh my gosh Scott nooooo I did not!" Stiles said in frustration "and that was  _one_  time Scott!  _ONE TIME_!! Make  _one_  mistake they label you for life!"

  
"Oh it's ok sweetie," Allison sent him an encouraging smile "it happens to everyone."

  
"Never happened to me," Boyd added

  
"Or me," Isaac pipes in

  
"Definitely not me!" Scott smiles fist bumping Isaac

  
"Ok I get it!" "Stiles is the only one who accidentally sets himself on fire while trying to light the grill, congrats you can all light a grill! Any of you want a cookie now?!"

  
"I do!" Scott answers all too enthusiastically which earns him an eye roll from Lydia and a tight smile from Allison that says  _'it's a good thing I love you because you're such an idiot sometimes,'_  Stiles feels better about himself almost immediately.

  
"So anyone need help?" he was now pacing around the kitchen, everyone seemed to be occupied with one thing or the other, even Derek.

  
"Stiles, you're a danger to yourself when you're sleeping, you really think we want to put you among all these sharp objects and fire," Lydia huffs and ties her hair back to keep it out of her face.

  
"Aww," Stiles feels a little warmth pool at the bottom of his stomach, "you care about me getting hurt."

  
 "No," Lydia murmurs audibly as she tosses the salad, " I really don't, I just don't want any blood on the kitchen floor. Now leave."  
  
Stiles really couldn't complain, he did burn two batches of chicken  _(shhh the first batch was secret, but knowing Peter he must have already known)_  and that one time he caught himself on fire, so  all this precaution was probably necessary. Needless to say the evening continued without a hitch  _(particularly due to Lydia and Allison's fine planning)_ , the food was delicious and the chicken was not bar-be-coal as Peter so fondly refers to it when everyone gets settled down to eat, because he thinks he's funny . Everyone sitting at the long table set out in the Stilinski backyard, the Sheriff has that twinkle in his eyes that Stiles hasn't seen in a while, the one he gets when he's with family, and Stiles does then crack a face-splitting smile, he's even got the crinkles forming at his eyes he thinks, and for once he takes a deep breath and relaxes because they're all here, together,  ** _safe._**

****

 

** Chapter 2 **

  
Now Stiles knew the universe had it out for him so if you think for one moment that he thought this was going to last, you are- well, wrong with a capital  ** _W_** , as a matter of fact despite all the goods things that followed that week Stiles seemed tense and on the edge, expecting a feral wolf to jump out of the bushes at any time to claw his pretty face up and dispose of his body in a place not even Scott could find it or to be magically transformed into a rampaging Evo only to be killed by Gerard Argent who smirks triumphantly before delivering his last blow. At least those were the nightmares that plagued Stiles' dreams recurringly before he's swallowed by the darkness kicking and shouting as a heavy weight pushes on his chest drowning him under the black waters, he feels his body constrict as he swallows large mouthfuls of water. His chest tightens and his heart rate sky rockets as he's being plunged into further despair his body alight with pain, in  the distance he hears the faint call of his name  _"Stiles" "Stiles"_ "Open your eyes!" he feels the panic set in "Stiles you fucking idiot get up, or I swear to God I'll rip your throat out!" 

  
Stiles comes to,flying up, eyes wide open gasping for air, his body vibrating and a hand pressed firmly to his chest bracing him. It's Derek's he realises "Breathe with me Stiles, come on," he hears him say and he focuses his senses on Derek's breathing, and his heart paces itself with the thump of Derek's own. He relaxes and lays his head back down just in time to see Derek's panicked expression dissolve immediately into default.

  
"Are you ok ?" Dereks asks, hand still pressed to his chest and Stiles suddenly feels smaller. Derek talked him through a panic attack, sure it's happened before but he somehow feels a bit embarrassed and exposed, almost vulnerable.

"Yeah," he replies after a while of finally being able to find his voice, he was pretty sure it came out cracked  and broken and he hated it. "What," he pauses to take a deep breath, "What are you doing here, how did you-" he doesn't know how to finish the sentence,  _how did you come across me having an attack?_  Stiles was pretty sure this was just another thing that was going to make the ' _Why Stiles is a pathetic human fail'_ list.

  
"I was just patrolling," Derek huffs, "do you want to change your clothes or something?" probably sensing the unease that was pouring off Stiles in waves. His bed was soaked, no wonder he was drowning, he'd probably be able to drown a city in his he exaggerated.

"Yeah," he mumbled as he got out of bed and ambled over to his dresser, peeling off his soaked t-shirt and replacing it with another then stripping off his bedsheets and  dumping it into his hamper. Derek sat quietly in his swivel chair and Stiles redressed his bed nervously. "Uh.. thanks" he started, "for you know," he flailed his hands a bit. Derek's eyebrows knitted together and his mouth pressed into a firm line.

  
"You're pack," he responded a long five seconds after, "it's my job to take care of pack." And here Stiles was feeling special, thanks a lot Derek.

  
"Are you gonna... you know.. stay here?"

  
"Do you want me to leave?"

  
"No!.. I mean no it's ok if you want to stay, I'm ok now but you could stay, if you want to, staying, watching me sleep, the Edward Cullen of werewolves." Stiles drawled on.

  
"Shut up Stiles!" 

  
"Shutting up now."

  
Stiles clambered into bed and looked over at the clock on the wall,  _2:30_  it read, he wasn't sure if he could fall asleep and had decidedly started twiddling his thumbs when Derek slid into bed next to him, pulled his body against his, engulfing him with warmth and wrapped his arm around his torso.

"Close your eyes Stiles," he sighed. Less than ten minutes later Stiles fell asleep Derek's breathing the perfect lullaby.

 

 

** Chapter 3 **

Stiles awoke to the silent burn of sunlight stinging against his cheeks. He yawned and stretched freely and grabbed at the empty space next to him. He expected it, really, he did, but a part of him had hoped Derek would have stayed until he was awake, but then it was probably better that way, so Derek wouldn't know how disappointed he was when he awoke and didn't see him. He furrowed his eyebrows wondering if last night really happened,  _well if the change of sheets isn't enough for you Stiles, denial isn't only a river_  he thought. There is a soft knock at his door and soon his father is opening the door.

"Hey son, you gonna get up or am I gonna have to drag you out today?" He chuckled softly, the sheriff was already dressed and gearing to go.

"I'll be ready in fifteen minutes," he yawned, feeling the overwhelming need to go right back to sleep, which is why he plopped right back down unto his pillow resulting in his dad taking him by the ear and pulling him out of bed to get dressed. 

  
"Ouch! Oww... you know this is child abuse!" Stiles stated while being pushed into the bathroom. His dad just chuckled softly and made his way down the hall.

  
"Bye son! See you tonight!" 

 

* * *

  
  
Stiles pulled into the parking lot and was barely out of his jeep before Scott was on him. "Why do you smell like Derek?" Scott's brow creased in a cute little i'm-a-confused-puppy "Was he at your house? Is something wrong? Are you ok?" 

  
"I'm fineeee Scott," Stiles drawled, "Derek was just doing some patrolling last night when I sorta had an attack and he came to help, that's all."

  
"An attack?" as if he couldn't look any more confused his face contorted even more for all of ten seconds before realising "... oh an  _attack_!"

  
"Do you wanna talk about it?" the question was there but Stiles knew how uncomfortable it made Scott, just as Scott knew how Stiles felt about his attacks.

  
"Nah man, I'd rather not, let's just forget it."

Scott seemed to like the idea and radiated even more as they walked over to join Allison and the others.  
"Why do you smell like Derek?" Erica  raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows and glared judgingly at Stiles. 

"Oh my god, that was like hours ago, how can you even smell- how does your nose even work." Stiles' frustration playing through, she seemed to drop it at that somewhat withdrawing understandingly, he probably has Scott to thank, whispering into Allison's ear amongst werewolves, thanks buddy really ...way to keep a secret. It was probably better that way anyway.  
  
The day went slowly for Stiles, actually Stiles went too quick for the day, there were times he had to slip into random rooms just to catch his breath and clutch his chest because of the tight ache that radiated throughout his body, he felt and reached for it but he couldn't touch it, it just made him feel lightheaded and anxious. But Stiles was ok, yup that's what he said.  
  
It's not like these attacks just started, no they've been going on for a while. The first time he experienced it was the night his mother died. His father spent all night comforting him and regulating his breathing. It took him a year to stop having them every night and two to stop altogether. He refused to go back to that form. They were the most broken years of his father's life and he was the cause of his pain. Stiles remembers those nights like they were last night, then he remembers last night. If his father had woken up, if it had not been Derek there. He remembers the pain in his father's eyes and the tears he shed when he thought Stiles was asleep and couldn't see. He remembers hearing him say "You were always good at this, you'd know what to do, he has them often and I don't know how to deal with it," looking at the picture of his mother that Stiles always kept at his bedside when he was younger. It's been relocated to the top drawer ever since.  
  
Later that night Stiles' father called in to say he would have to eat without him, so Stiles ate and went to bed.   
Gerard was there again, this time Stiles was staring down the barrel of a gun, a triumphant smirk plastered across his face and then there was the sound of the gun going off, Stiles was drowning again, water engulfing his body and a giant weight pushing him down. 

_"Stiles! Stiles!"_  Stiles felt an arm pull him out of the darkness and he came to again gasping for air. It was Derek  _again_.  Stiles was shaking uncontrollably and taking large breaths of air, Derek moved his arm around him and started rubbing circles in his shoulder. Stiles focused his breathing and soon everything evened out.

  
"How- how do you know," Stiles stuttered out when he finally got his voice, " how do you know how to calm.... my breathing.. my attack?"

  
Derek sighed next to him, "After the fire, I experienced anxiety attacks, my sister, she would always take me through them."

  
And Stiles didn't feel so vulnerable anymore, Derek had shared a piece of information with him, he understood Stiles.

 

 

** Chapter 4 **

When Stiles woke up again Derek was gone. It was Saturday which means his dad was probably at the station before five and hadn't had breakfast yet and Stiles would probably be spending the day between Scott and Isaac or Allison. Don't ask him what was going on there, he really didn't need to know. For a good measure of the morning Stiles occupied himself with making sandwiches to carry down to the station, packing an extra for Harley the "guard dog" his father seems to have adopted into the force.  
  
A few minutes later he jumped into his jeep and heading to the station. The route was comfortably familiar for Stiles as he'd been taking it for seventeen years now,  _almost legal_  he thought to himself with a smirk. "This means no more sneaking around crime scenes because you can get locked up this time!" his father once told him before shaking his head and saying "who am I kidding, I might as well start saving to bail you and Scott out of prison." earning him a grin from Stiles and a " _hey!_ " from Scott, then he remembered his night in the cell. The road that lay itself out before him suddenly became obscure, Stiles felt his chest constricting again, "Oh nononononononononono! not now-" but his words were cut off by lack of sufficient oxygen. His vision danced between blurry and black for a few seconds before settling in just in time for Stiles to swerve unto his side of the road. Earning him an ever so pleasant " _Watch where you're driving asshole!_ " from the driver going down that way. Stiles huffed and focused on his breathing, he remembered how Derek's breath felt against his cheek and willed his own breathing to take pattern. Fortunately he reached the station safely.

 

* * *

  
He was not at all surprised when he found Derek waiting for him at his desktop that night, surely enough he did have a nightmare but somehow it was better knowing Derek was there and it didn't take much soothing to get him centred again.   
  
Then it was becoming a habit, Derek would be there at 10:00 pm sharp sleep with Stiles, but not r _eally sleep with Stiles_ and be gone by morning,  it helped him cope with the nightmares though, and it was getting easier to recover from them.  He got strange looks from the pack but no one questioned him, he probably has Scott to thank for that too, he doesn't know how yet but Scott has something to do with it.  
  
Just when he thought he was getting better Sabrina the teenage witch decides to show up. Not that he minded Sabrina the  _actual_  teenage witch, her he could stand but this witch took entertainment to a whole new level. 

 

 

** Chapter 5 **

Stiles tried to forget he really did, but the flashes of that night hammered his brain until he had a pounding headache. They weren't looking for any trouble  _really_ , but Stiles wouldn't be Stiles if he didn't run into it and that is precisely what he did, he ran smack into her. If Stiles had known that that meeting would cause him so much pain he'd have immediately turned around and left her on the floor books and all, unfortunately though the power of future telling he did not have, and being the charmer that he was offered help which evolved into friendship.

 

* * *

  
 Stiles huffed and rubbed his eyes, ok he could do this. He got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. The warm trickle of water against his skin, eased his tension a bit as he melted into the shower. 

* * *

  
Blood trickled down his arm as she carved another line into his chest. He couldn't stay awake any longer. How did it reach to this one minute they were talking about greek mythology for their english assignment, they kissed and next he knew he was here at some random warehouse,  _why is it always a warehouse, why couldn't it be a restaurant  because hey!  surprise Stiles you deserve it!_  She was going on and on about magic and mountain ash and that she couldn't get it to work the way Stiles did and that performing some sacrifice will allow her to access Stiles' magical capabilities and then she started carving things into his chest and he was really starting to drift away into unconsciousville when he heard the door burst open followed by an alpha roar.  _Derek!_  accompanied by a few others  _Scott! the pack!_  if Stiles' body could allow movement he'd be dancing right now but being strung up on all fours  _(yeah not a good time for a dog joke)_  and the excessive blood loss was making it difficult for him.

 

* * *

  
Stiles laid his head on the tiles and allowed for the water to wash away all the blood that still flowed out of his wounds even a day after.   _Breathe Stiles, just breathe_  he repeated over and over. It was difficult being human and running with wolves, he almost died because of magic he barely had any idea how to use, but Stiles still kept a brave face,  _brave_ , he snorted at that thought.

 

* * *

  
Derek and the pack charged into the room only to be flung back with the same forced they exerted.

  
"Do you really think I'd let you come in here and take away weeks of work,"  she snarled

  
"Jessica whatever you want I'm sure we can work something out," Scott started

  
"Didn't know you had joined the party of freaks McCall, then again," she smirked then shouted "Dominus det lycans uenerabilem coruscantis facere imperata, offensionem!" The room was set alight and lightning struck all corners of the room taking Derek and his pack in one swift zap.

  
Stiles could see them trying to fight the surge of electricity that flowed through their body, the smell of burnt fur and blood rose high into the atmosphere. They were caved into themselves and their knees gave in, in one last attempt Scott looked up at him dead in the eye and muttered "I'm sorry Stiles, I.."

  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!NOOOOOOOOOO! STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING PLEASE STOP!" this only seemed to encourage her more as the voltage seemed to increase, "No, please, just stop," Stiles was crying, she then turned to him and added one final line to her carving, then Stiles was seeing white. He remembered a violent tremor and he woke a few minutes after covered in blood kneeling, his body burning and the cuts on his chest wrenching a pain from deep within. There was blood splattered all over and Scott was looking at him like he grew a second head, Isaac like he was afraid and Erica just looked outright surprised, that was all he registered before all went black again.

 

* * *

  
Stiles got out of the shower, dried his skin slowly and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He was going to the station to carry food for his dad. He felt a slight pain in his chest but chose to ignore it, it only served as a warning before his chest started constricting again, his breaths became gasps and his hands felt weak, the keys fell to the ground with a clatter followed by Stile's knees, the pain quickly spread throughout his body and Stiles focused all his energy on breathing and willing the pain away. 

  
After a few minutes Stiles was breathing normally again the pain in his chest reduced to just a dull sting. Stiles lay there for a while and closed his eyes, immediately his head was filled with flashbacks of two nights before. He clutched his chest as the pain began to swell and he began to put his focus elsewhere, like the picture of his mother smiling at a five year old him. He had bruised his toe and his mom kissed it and then smiled, after he asked her why she always kisses his "boo-boos" and she said "because mommy's kisses are magical and can heal anything," Stiles could use his mother's kiss right now.

 

* * *

  
  
Stiles drove past the familiar patch of trees on his way to the station, he took in the sweet smell of pine and musky scent of pitch that filled the wet air. It was still pouring, but not as bad as it had been earlier. It rains to wash away the blood spilled on earth, it's the earth's way of crying for all the innocent lives being destroyed and the wicked people that live to cause deliberate harm to others.   
Stiles' phone began to ring in the distance bring him out of his trance, it was his dad.

  
"Hey daddy-o," Stiles started

  
"Hey Stiles, it's Scott, umm."

  
Stiles didn't need to hear anything else the pain in his chest started to swell and he felt his chest tighten again, his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and his body sat stock still, He couldn't feel or hear anything beside the pain that flooded his body and the memories about that night with the kanima flashed through his mind, they were then overcome by Gerard then the witch, Stiles felt himself going deep into an attack and latched on to the voice that was coming through the phone that was now on his lap.

   
"Calm down man!" he heard Scott say " sfine, everything's ....... i .....trespassing...... cell. Stiles! Stiles! Stiles!"

  
Stiles suddenly jerked his head up at the sound of a horn coming directly his way. He was too late, Stiles slammed into the front of the truck, one of the steel poles it was carrying becoming loose and smashing through his glass making direct impact with his head and chest, grating his side.  
  
Stiles' body lay motionless on the ground as rain beat mercilessly upon it. Derek had found him and dragged him out of the wreckage.

  
"Stiles," Derek almost whined, placing his hand gently on Stiles' cheek, "stay with me." Stiles' eyes fluttered he was sure Derek was crying, then it could also be the rain in his eyes, Stiles smiled, "sokay," he tried to say but it came out tainted with the taste of his own blood. Scott came bounding into sight, sheer terror and fear lined in this features "Stiles! Stiles!" he choked, Stiles was sure he was crying, good old Scotty never afraid to shed a tear. "Derek bite him!Bite him Derek!I swear to God if you don't save him I'll kill you" Scott was pounding on Derek's shoulder "plee-eea-se'' he cried between breaths.

  
"Immune," Stiles said again, his throat tightening, "remember." cracking a little smile before letting his tears escape him.

  
" Don't you dare smile you little shit," Scott cried, "you promised not to leave me!"

  
"Sorry," his words barely audible but he knew Scott could hear him, " Tell dad I love him."

  
Sirens filled the air. Stiles could hear them approaching.  
"Nooo!" Scott howled, "you're my best friend, you were supposed to see me marry Allison and spoil my children and whose gonna keep me from killing Derek, I love you man, I just- I love you."

  
"Love. you. too. Scott. all. of. you. pack." Stiles stuttered, he could feel himself being swallowed by the darkness, but fought for just a few more minutes. Derek planted a kiss on his forehead and Stiles saw his tear slip out of his eye.

  
Stiles' dad pushed through the now present wailing pack and grabbed at him. Pulling him into a full embrace, tears flowing down his cheek, "I promised her I'd take care of you, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry Stiles, I love you! I love you! I love you!"

  
"Did- good job dad. Love you.too" Stiles felt the cold finally pull at his skin and the air finally leave his body, death felt like emptiness and loneliness. There was no bright light just darkness until you ceased to exist.

  
"NOOOOOOOO! NOOOO BRING HIM BACK DEREK BRING HIM BACK!!"

  
Stiles' dad held him close and tight his knuckles going white, with fear and realisation.

  
"He was my best friend, now he's gone,it's my fault!" "YOU LOVED HIM YOU ASSHOLE!" "NOW HE'S GONE!"

  
Scott tore out and the rest of the pack tore after him. Stiles was dead and that was all.  
 

 

** Sometime After **

****

After Stiles died his dad was admitted into the 'werewolf secret order' and finally told everything. It took a couple years to get everything back in order but nothing was ever the same and on a cool, rainy day if you listen carefully you can hear a distant heartbeat between the pitter patter.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My Note  
> I am so sorry don't be mad at me for writing this, I hope you liked it even though I killed the character that kept shit together. Please don't hate me, I'm sorry.


End file.
